Senior 41: Premarital Sex
Is that a provocative title or what?
Don't worry, I'm not just trying to grab the attention of roving web-surfers. Neither should this be taken as indicative of a sweeping thematic or programatic change in the blog-agenda.
A friend recently asked me about Christian teaching of sexual abstinence before marriage. It's a pretty universally-accepted principle in traditional Christian ethics, but where does the idea come from? Does it come from the Bible?
I set about formulating an answer to his question and decided to post my response. It should be noted that, as part of my response, I attempt to describe something of the nature of sex and marriage--something I don't think I'm really qualified to do. So let that serve as a disclaimer. I have tried to take Scripture, apply the teaching I have received and my critical thinking, and craft a well-written, well-reasoned answer to the question. Here it is.
-----
Alrighty, let's see. Well obviously there is no eleventh commandment--thou shalt not engage in pre-marital sex--in the Bible; but I think if we look at the Bible's attitude toward marriage and sex, and think carefully about these issues, we can see how the idea of abstinence before marriage emerges very naturally as a wise and judicious way to conduct oneself in relationships.
Marriage is established all the way back at the very beginning of human history when God creates Adam and Eve: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
This becoming one flesh, the consummation of the marriage covenant, is expressed mysteriously in sexual intercourse. With sex comes the formation of a deeply significant, personal and intimate, physical and spiritual bond intended by God to bring two people into oneness. How serious is this bond? Consider Jesus' words when speaking about divorce: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Matthew 19:6) Dr. Sumner (APU School of Theology) has taken that passage and Paul's imagery (in Ephesians) of the man as the head and the woman as the body to paint a picture of divorce as decapitation. Marriage is that serious in terms of the transformation that it works on the two lives, making them one.
Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians, "Flee (sexual) immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body." (6:19) This is another passage that underscores the significance of the sexual act; it's not something that one treats glibbly but has powerful and serious consequences, either good or bad depending on the context.
The sanctity of marriage is treated very seriously throughout Scripture. There are many, many commands in both the Old and New Testaments against adultery--i.e. violating the covenant of marriage. One such Scripture passage to consider is Hebrews 13:4. "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
--
Let's take the information we've gathered so far about sex and marriage and see how it applies to the question of pre-marital sex. It seems to me that there are two broad approaches--one can treat sex casually or one can take it seriously.
Now given what we've learned about the significance of the sexual act, it seems pretty clear that the person who treats it casually--who is willing to have sex with multiple partners, etc.--is just plain wrong and seriously misunderstands the nature of sex. (I think we can find ample evidence in our own present culture--in broken lives, shattered relationships, bitterness and betrayal and pain--that failing to take sex seriously is extremely harmful.)
But what of the other approach--what of the person who does take sex seriously? Well, it seems to me, that if one is so in love with another person that he desires and is willing to enter into that most intimate of human bonds; to join in that mysterious, deeply spiritual, union; to, with that person, become ONE flesh; then marriage simply is the most natural step. Marriage is the formal signification (in community) of two people's commitments to one another and their mutual desire for oneness that is consummated in sex.
The way God seems to have laid things out, sex is inseparable from marriage; sex is the consummation of marriage. To separate the two is just to misunderstand their respective natures and interrelationships. So even though no command against sex before marriage is presented in Scripture in so many words (at least I can't think of one off the top of my head), abstinence makes the most sense of Biblical views of sex and marriage.
-----
What an interesting reflection to write.
Blessings all,
--
God is in this place, and that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit makes all the difference in the world.
Don't worry, I'm not just trying to grab the attention of roving web-surfers. Neither should this be taken as indicative of a sweeping thematic or programatic change in the blog-agenda.
A friend recently asked me about Christian teaching of sexual abstinence before marriage. It's a pretty universally-accepted principle in traditional Christian ethics, but where does the idea come from? Does it come from the Bible?
I set about formulating an answer to his question and decided to post my response. It should be noted that, as part of my response, I attempt to describe something of the nature of sex and marriage--something I don't think I'm really qualified to do. So let that serve as a disclaimer. I have tried to take Scripture, apply the teaching I have received and my critical thinking, and craft a well-written, well-reasoned answer to the question. Here it is.
-----
Alrighty, let's see. Well obviously there is no eleventh commandment--thou shalt not engage in pre-marital sex--in the Bible; but I think if we look at the Bible's attitude toward marriage and sex, and think carefully about these issues, we can see how the idea of abstinence before marriage emerges very naturally as a wise and judicious way to conduct oneself in relationships.
Marriage is established all the way back at the very beginning of human history when God creates Adam and Eve: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
This becoming one flesh, the consummation of the marriage covenant, is expressed mysteriously in sexual intercourse. With sex comes the formation of a deeply significant, personal and intimate, physical and spiritual bond intended by God to bring two people into oneness. How serious is this bond? Consider Jesus' words when speaking about divorce: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Matthew 19:6) Dr. Sumner (APU School of Theology) has taken that passage and Paul's imagery (in Ephesians) of the man as the head and the woman as the body to paint a picture of divorce as decapitation. Marriage is that serious in terms of the transformation that it works on the two lives, making them one.
Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians, "Flee (sexual) immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body." (6:19) This is another passage that underscores the significance of the sexual act; it's not something that one treats glibbly but has powerful and serious consequences, either good or bad depending on the context.
The sanctity of marriage is treated very seriously throughout Scripture. There are many, many commands in both the Old and New Testaments against adultery--i.e. violating the covenant of marriage. One such Scripture passage to consider is Hebrews 13:4. "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
--
Let's take the information we've gathered so far about sex and marriage and see how it applies to the question of pre-marital sex. It seems to me that there are two broad approaches--one can treat sex casually or one can take it seriously.
Now given what we've learned about the significance of the sexual act, it seems pretty clear that the person who treats it casually--who is willing to have sex with multiple partners, etc.--is just plain wrong and seriously misunderstands the nature of sex. (I think we can find ample evidence in our own present culture--in broken lives, shattered relationships, bitterness and betrayal and pain--that failing to take sex seriously is extremely harmful.)
But what of the other approach--what of the person who does take sex seriously? Well, it seems to me, that if one is so in love with another person that he desires and is willing to enter into that most intimate of human bonds; to join in that mysterious, deeply spiritual, union; to, with that person, become ONE flesh; then marriage simply is the most natural step. Marriage is the formal signification (in community) of two people's commitments to one another and their mutual desire for oneness that is consummated in sex.
The way God seems to have laid things out, sex is inseparable from marriage; sex is the consummation of marriage. To separate the two is just to misunderstand their respective natures and interrelationships. So even though no command against sex before marriage is presented in Scripture in so many words (at least I can't think of one off the top of my head), abstinence makes the most sense of Biblical views of sex and marriage.
-----
What an interesting reflection to write.
Blessings all,
--
God is in this place, and that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit makes all the difference in the world.
posted by Metaphysician_delta | 9:42 PM
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