Graduate 49: Reflection on Psalm 8, Continued

This will not be a continuation in the sense of an ongoing, direct engagement with the text of Psalm 8. But I raised the topic of unconditional love in Graduate 47: Reflection on Psalm 8 (as I also did in Graduate 46: Mother's Day) and would like to comment on it further.

But how to proceed? The need for unconditional love is so deeply ingrained in our psyches and yet so utterly contrary to our conventional modes of thought. It may be easier to begin by dealing with what unconditional love is not and answering objections to the concept--because there are objections.

It is interesting to note that the very concept of unconditional love is repugnant to some. They see it as a patronizing pretense. "So you're going to love me in spite of myself, is that it? And, what's more, I'm supposed to be grateful for that?" Some are quite comfortable with the idea of being loved or esteemed or appreciated for their accomplishments and achievements. The idea of loving them apart from those things that they hold so close to who they are (i.e. their identity) seems to be simply not loving them at all.

The answer to this objection strays into difficult territory, because I can only speak here in generalities. But the bottom line is this--that I think there is a great confusion in our culture (and, therefore, among individuals) about what does and does not constitute the character and content of one's identity. Does that sound odd--the claim that many people are deeply confused about what makes them who they are? The very suggestion sounds (and usually feels) like a direct assault on the person.

I experienced this challenge, very personally, through the ministry of one of my APU-mentors, Steve Gerali. During the summer and fall of 2006, he began leading me in a reevaluation of my own self-understanding and concepts of personal identity. He challenged the ways in which I viewed myself and, at first, it really did feel like an attack. He pointed out quirks in my personality to which I had become closely attached and focused especially on the ways in which I held on to my intellectual abilities as a source of strength and confidence. It was scary at first--"You're asking me to give up the qualities that make me, me? You're asking me to stop being intellectual???"

I can still remember that feeling, but that's not what it was about at all. The mind is good. It is an integral part of what each of us is; but it is not all of who we are. There is more. Over the months, Steve encouraged me to approach life from the heart as well as the head and to cultivate those other parts of "who I am" and "what God made me to be". I am still very intellectual, but I think that I have also grown in other aspects of my character and spirit.

So what at first appears to be an attack on "who I am" really is an invitation to a fuller, richer kind of life. But it is so difficult to see when one is used to looking at oneself in only a single set of terms. It really takes someone else coming alongside--someone who can see from a different point of view. (Part of what makes this blog entry difficult to write is that I cannot speak personally and directly to the reader about what I see in him or her but am limited to generalities.)

I am reminded, afresh, of Bonhoeffer's words in Life Together: "Therefore, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God's Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth." (23)

We need others who can see the good in us that we cannot see. We need others who can help us to grow those parts of us that still lie dormant. This should be a ministry of the Church--the body of Christ. To build one another up, to see the true good in people and nurture it to maturity.

--

A measure of maturity is a requisite for this type of ministry, so that one can accurately recognize the good and know how to best help the individual to cultivate it. Often this process will take the form of a mentor-student relationship. If it is to be successful, there must be openness and integrity on both sides. The "mentor" must appreciate how his work may be perceived as an attack on the "student"; his work must be grounded in a genuine love and desire for the student's best. And the student must place a measure of faith and confidence in the mentor, so that when he feels attacked or doesn't understand why the mentor is treating him in a certain way, he can continue to follow the mentor's wise counsel in spite of those feelings.

But let me emphasize that this ministry is not confined to formal mentor-student relationships. It is intended to be a natural part of the parent-child relationship and a healthy part of husband-wife and mutual-friend relationships (though I can comment authoritatively even less on some of these than on the preceding material). Formal training is not required (though in some contexts, it may be helpful). I have described one of my most recent active engagements with this process, with one of my mentors, but it is also part of my friendships and family relationships.

--

We noted, in the beginning, that the very concept of unconditional love is repugnant to those who feel quite comfortable with their accomplishments and character. I suggested that this had to do with a basic confusion about what is really at the heart of and valuable in each person. I cited as an example the way in which I relied on my intellectual ability as a source of confidence and strength. Taking that away seems like an attack at first. "Where will my confidence and strength come from, if not from my abilities?"

The answer: from the sovereign decree of God, who created you, loves you, and sent His Son to die for you. Your intellectual abilities were not intended to be a source of confidence and strength; they were intended to engage the world, to grasp its richness, to develop understanding about its inner workings. When you rely on your abilities to acquire approval and build confidence, you limit them. When you rely on the unconditional love of God and place all your confidence in His perfect faithfulness, your abilities are freed to grow into all their fullness.

The person who does not find confidence in God is enslaved to the pursuit of confidence; the person who does not find strength in God is enslaved to the pursuit of strength. They may feel confident; they may feel strong. But they must always be constantly maintaining those (applying all their abilities and resources, ultimately, to that task) and failure to do so is catastrophic.

--

This has already gotten much longer than I expected. (Are you surprised?) So I'll cut things short and try to wrap up relatively quickly with only a few more brief comments:

(A) In times of failure, many people seem to be particularly receptive to receiving unconditional love. This is because they recognize, acutely, their inability to maintain the mask or illusion that they are deserving of love by virtue of their abilities or accomplishments. However, it is important to remember that unconditional love operates "in spite" of all actions, both good and bad. The drive to achieve good things can be as much enslavement as the drive to avoid bad things.

(B) When I began thinking about this post, I knew that I wanted to close with a few comments from my heart. As it turns out, this entry has become much, much more heady than I originally intended, making this last section that much more important. (See, I'm trying to balance head and heart.)

Whether I am able to communicate all the ins and outs of the NATURE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, in all its tedious abstractness and nit-picky particularity is entirely secondary to the task of actually loving people. And as I am led on this journey of self-discovery and drawing closer to God, I find myself wanting to love people more. I wasn't really expecting that in the beginning, but that seems to be what's happening. As I deal with my own doubts and insecurities, guilts and failures, drives and motives, I think I am becoming a little more sensitive to those of others.

More and more, I see a world wracked with pain, plagued by guilt, driven by fear, troubled with doubt, longing for love, yearning for acceptance, desperate for peace, full of potential, and brimming with possibilities. Can I give the world what it needs? Certainly not; not on my own strength or ability. But I have found a well-spring of grace and hope and love and faith and peace. And on that well are written these words: "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (John 7:37 and Matthew 11:28)

--

Teach me, Lord God, to receive and embrace your unconditional love for me.

Teach me also, Lord God, to give freely of what I have received and to withhold nothing from all those whom You love.

Amen.

--

God is in this place,
And that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit, makes all the difference in the world.

Graduate 48: My Inspirations

This is just for fun. (Somewhat of an inside joke.) If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't. Josh can appreciate this on multiple levels. Wasn't Vic-Lit a great class?









Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)










Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)










Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828-1882)










Josh Blevins (b. 1985)

Graduate 47: Reflection on Psalm 8

Have you ever been confronted with the wonder and glory of nature? gazed at the vast and starry heavens? been overwhelmed by the splendor of a mountain sunset? How does it make you feel?

Very often we feel uncomfortable and disconcerted. The splendor of the natural world makes us feel very small by comparison, and nobody likes feeling small or insignificant. That is why, often in those situations, we may find ourselves bolting for the nearest sign of civilization. Lock the door, turn on the lights, flip on the TV and radio, put some instant pop-corn in the microwave, and all those feelings of smallness are pushed away. (Bill Waterson captures this reaction perfectly in one of his Sunday comic strips, by the way.) Surrounded by technology, feelings safe and secure, we are comfortably insulated from the reality that lurks outside.

This is but one example of the many ways in which we exert enormous amounts of time and energy to avoid dealing with reality. We feel lonely, so we gather fake and shallow friends around us. We feel unloved, so we work and work in order to accomplish something noteworthy and earn people's respect and admiration. We feel small and insignificant, so we gather possessions and accumulate credentials to compensate. And the thought of standing alone, exposed, for all to see just as we really are, terrifies us.

But in Psalm 8, David does just that. He stands alone and stares the reality of his smallness squarely in the face, saying to God:

"When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers, / The moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained; / What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him? / And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?" (vv. 3-4)

He asks the same kind of question we often ask when confronted with the expansiveness of creation. But notice where he differs from the common reaction. He does not run to his accomplishments or credentials; he does not appeal to his military record or impressive qualities in order to justify God's attention. Instead he says:

"Yet Thou hast made him a little lower than God, / And dost crown him with glory and majesty! / Thou dost make him to rule over the works of Thy hands; Thou hast put all things under his feet, / All sheep and oxen, / And also the beasts of the field, / The birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, / Whatever passes through the paths of the seas." (vv.5-8)

When we run to our achievements in an attempt to validate ourselves, we miss out on the chance to hear what God has decreed for us. When we seek out people's approval and success according to the world's standards, we miss what God has for us. We try to win people's approval, even though God chose us even before we were created. We try to make a significant mark, even though God already deemed us worthy of the life of His Son. We try to accomplish great things, when God has already invited us to rule with Him. We become trapped in an endless cycle of trying to earn love, when He has loved us unconditionally.

We don't want to face a cosmos that is outside of our control; but when we try to control it, we miss out on the chance to learn the truth that it is not ultimately hostile to us. God, the creator, made us, and he loves us unconditionally.

And isn't that what we want--to be loved unconditionally? To be able to stand with flaws and failings and foibles fully exposed and be genuinely loved? That is what God offers, if only we will stop trying to earn or merit his grace and simply receive it.

It is telling, what David writes: "From the mouth of infants and nursing babes Thou has established strength." (v. 2a)

Children and infants have not "learned" that love must be earned. They have no accomplishments or credentials or achievements, so they simply receive love. No wonder they stand strong in God's kingdom, "Because of Thine adversaries, / To make the enemy and the revengeful cease." (v.2b) They are solid.

When our identity comes from God, it is secure. When our identity comes from ourselves, it is never secure but must be constantly maintained and guarded and refurbished. When we are no longer bound by human expectations, we are freed to become who and what we were intended to be. And the spontaneous response is praise to God; so David opens and closes Psalm 8 with these lines:

"O LORD, our Lord, / How majestic is Thy name in all the earth!" (v. 1a & 9)

[Scripture quotations from New American Standard Version, 1977.]

--

I am deeply indebted to those friends and mentors and family-members who have loved me unconditionally with the love of Christ. Being as driven as I am, I am constantly needful of reminders to rest in the love that frees from burden and guilt.

I know that there are many, many people who long for this kind of love; who desire to be loved and valued for who they really are and not for their actions (good or bad) or accomplishments or external attributes. They are bound by the fear that, in failure, they will be cut off from love and relationship. They are tired of having to maintain a polished and pristine mask, of having to cover up their flaws and make themselves "presentable."

May we in the Church, the body of Christ, serve as conduits of true, freeing love and grace to one another and to all people.

--

God is in this place,
And that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit, makes all the difference in the world.

Senior 46: Mother's Day

So I'm back from Men's Chorale Tour. The last week has been full and rich beyond the capacity of one or probably even a dozen blog posts to describe.

But through it all, I have had at the back of my mind the thought of a Mother's Day post and what to write in honor of my mother.

Actually, this has presented an immense challenge: how can I capture, succinctly and accurately, the full extent of my indebtedness to my mother and all that she has done for me and means to me? My mother is an amazing and wonderful lady. And in this, I do not exaggerate. I suspect that most of us think our mother's very ordinary only because we do not regularly take the time to reflect on who they are and all they have done. Try making a list--thinking long and hard about it, taking seriously all those attributes and incidents that you usually take for granted, beginning with the fact that she carried you and sustained your life in the womb for nine months before giving birth to you--and see how long it goes.

I remember picnics on the living room carpet, Bill Peet and Chris Van Allsburg books, trips to the library, jumping on billowing bed sheets, cocoa on rainy days, peanut butter on apples (even though my dad still thinks that's weird), kindergarten drawings preserved over the years, Japanese rice crackers after doctor's visits, preparing Christmas dinners together, sugar cookies and Mexican wedding cakes, long rides to orchestra rehearsals, M&M's and mints, (corny) jokes and raucous laughter, the bye-bye-lady-bug story, Twilight Zone episodes revisited, bell peppers on my lunch sandwiches, and the list goes on.

More recently I have come to appreciate her role in my spiritual formation. She taught my Sunday school class for many years as well as Good News clubs and was always meticulous in her communication and instruction. She set aside time every morning to read the Bible and pray. She taped Bible verses to the bathroom mirror and around our house so that she could work on memorization while brushing her teeth or doing the dishes. She keeps a Bible next to the treadmill so that she can read while exercising. She has been and continues to be a model of discipline, challenging me to take seriously my commitment to Christ.

In the last year and months I have seen how she continues to mature in her walk with God and her relationship with Jesus Christ. (What a remarkable gift that is to one's child: to let him or her see God actively working and moving in your life.) She's still growing--and that is an inspiration to me.

--

I could go on, of course, but I want to turn for a moment from lists to a brief reflection on a mother's love. Mother's love is one of the most cherished things in a person's life, stemming from (what is likely) the deepest and most profound bond to be found in the natural world. The mother as life-giver and life-sustainer is connected to her child at the deepest level. That relationship is there before her child is born, before he or she has said or done anything. The love that accompanies it is unconditional, asking nothing of the recipient and placing no expectations on him or her. It endures through short-comings and disappointments just because it is rooted in a more basic reality.

But we must not make the mistake of thinking that this kind of love is limited to the mother-son and mother-daughter relationships. There is a still more-basic spiritual bond, of which all natural ones are only a shadow. God is the true and ultimate life-giver and life-sustainer. His love for us existed before we were ever created, before we had done anything, either good or bad. He loves us apart from our actions (even in spite of them) and, in the midst of our rebellion in sin, sent His Son Jesus Christ to bring about restoration of broken relationship. His love is unconditional.

The realization of this deep connection to God, through Jesus Christ, is available to all who will receive it. From that realization and restoration comes the opportunity for the follower of Jesus Christ, as a member of His body, to extend the love of God to others and to direct others to the love of God.

The parallels between these loves is not accidental; the one is a shadow of and points to the other. And the significance of Mother Love is not diminished, but rather augmented by virtue of its relationship to God's unconditional love.

--

Are you getting some idea of how amazing my mother is? Life-giver, life-sustainer, comforter, teacher, model of discipline, and guide to true love in Jesus Christ--she is my one and only mother.

Thank you, Mom, for everything you've done and do; and for who you are. Words cannot capture all that you have given me, and I am overwhelmed by a few moments reflection on the significance of your love for me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

--

"Happy Mother's Day!" to all the moms out there, who have done so much for their children. May God richly bless you and yours, today and hereafter.

--

God is in this place,
And that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit, makes all the difference in the world.

Senior 45: NAS

This is so geeky, but I have to create a post about it before I go back to studying. My mentor, Mark, got me a Bible as a graduation gift. It's leatherbound, includes a Lexical Guide, Concordance and Hebrew/Greek Dictionary, has my name embossed on the cover--it's beautiful.

But here's the part I'm totally stoked about--he didn't even realize it when he bought it--: the text is from the 1977 edition of the New American Standard Version. I've been wanting a copy of the '77 edition for a while, but all I can ever find in bookstores is the '95 update.

I'm such a nerd, but I'm so thrilled. I have the accurate translation of Matthew 17:20! Hurray!

--

I hope all is well with you. God bless,

--

God is in this place,
And that reality, seen and understood by the grace of God in Christ Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit, makes all the difference in the world.